What is going on in this pic?

   I like the idea of DC Comics reorganizing and trying something new with their line of comics. And I like the teaser art for the relaunch. Jim Lee is still boss. But still, what exactly is going on there? Let's see...

• Batman: He is stuck right in the middle of all the other heroes. He always is in the shadows or in the middle is fine for a selling point. Front and center. But he has to be uncomfortable. The heat from Cyborg and Flash should be burning him up. Green Lantern has some machine gun right next to him. Hope Bats has his earplugs. Superman flying over him will probably make Bats cape go right over his head and cover his floppy ears. Aquaman smells of fish. I'm not even going to mention that if he looks up and right he is looking straight into Wonder Woman's 'chesticles'.
  
  *Aquaman: Poor guy. There is almost no way you can make this guy look regal or powerful in between everyone else. Besides having a cool hairstyle because everyone knows Atlanteans have great hair products. And what is he doing there? Is he leaping? He's not surfing. He is carrying a trident that looks like it was made at the same "Lowe's" that Blue Devil's was. What is going to do with it? He won't be allowed to spear anyone. And will the Justice League's enemies always know they're about to show up because of the smell of fish?
  
  *Green Lantern: Okayyy. WHERE is that machine gun coming from? It actually looks like he is wearing it as a jockstrap! Is it really coming out from his manhood? Because that's what it seems like! Way to go, GL. Now people know you're making up for some shortcomings. Wonder Woman is not impressed.
  
  *Wonder Woman: You are not a very good cowgirl. That lasso looks like it will get caught on the tip of Aquaman's trident. And looks like you were fairly close to looping it around GL's neck and causing either an accidental hanging or knowing his freaky self, bringing him to Michael Hutchence type fame. Careful with that thing. And speaking of thingS, you really need to cover up a bit. Yeah yeah, I know Superman has seen it all before but do you REALLY want to fight Dr. Light wearing that?
  
  *Superman: He's just chilling. Flying. With his eyes closed perhaps. Showoff! And that green from GL's ring around his manhood looks suspiciously like kryptonite green. GL really is that insecure that he is doing that? Shenanigans I say!
  
  *Cyborg: No complaints about him. Lee drew him in a position like he was about to tackle someone a la James Harrison. He is the only one that seems to be smiling. Probably because he's been upgraded from the Titans to the Justice League. Plus he's a human computer. He may actually be reading the latest from cracked.com in there.
  
  *Flash: No complaints here either. He looks good there even though he is photo bombing. All he needed was crazy eyes or something like that.
  
  That is my take on this. And doesn't Batman look like he was hitting the weights quite a bit? He looks bigger than Batista!