Can I or any other straight male be platonic friends with a female?
I had to ponder this as it's something that comes up with some regularity in life. Because most people will look at crazy if you mention that a friend you kick it with is of the opposite sex.
I have many female acqauintances but I also have ONE clear cut female friend. We work together and wound up hitting it off right away. We had some things in common and it turned out she liked the fact that I was a good listener. We wound up sharing long conversations both serious and fun, so of course we bonded.
It took me longer to trust her than it took for her to trust me but eventually it did happen. The deal here and one reason it makes it all simple for us is that we both see other people. There really is no sexual tension. THAT is the main thing. I recently watched an episode of the always interesting "Louie" show and in it he was hanging with a female friend that thought of Louie in a platonic way and in his case it was the total opposite. And he almost wound up ruining the friendship because he had underlying feelings for her. And if my female friend and I had any underlying tensions like that, this friendship wouldn't work.
What separates us from being acqauintances is that we have both spent time with eac others' families and have done favors for each other in times of need. We both get along very well with the opposite sex too. We have discussed dates with others at times and offered candid opinions to each other and advice and anecdotes.
We're also fortunate that we work someplace where we're not being judged for talking to each other and joking around. I guess the ones that would have trouble understanding are the people that we date.
But it's a good feeling to have a meaningful platonic friendship that offers different perspectives on things many times. I think most people could have this but there can be NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
Is that possible?
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
3/30/11
Marriage Mistakes: Her Husband Was Gay
Some women just pick wrong. Example:
I have a female cousin who is a better than average looking woman. Blonde, green eyes, though a shortie. Doesn’t look like her father at all. Must have been some all-American businessman on some business trip. (Glad they don’t read this.)
Anyways, she married some guy she had met only a month before. Whenever I hear something like that, I arch my eyebrow like the Rock. One month? I’m visiting one day and am introduced to him and his best friend. I size him up in that way all brothers and cousins usually size up men that are with our family. Close to six feet tall, moreno (means dark-skinned), and strong. He had a set of pipes. I shake his hand. All of a sudden, he spoke. He sounded like friggin Michael Jackson! I don’t know if I showed on my face what I thought of exactly at that moment. Well, after he talked to me about Tito, and Neverland, I ….kidding!
He DID sound…fey…soft…gay. Okay, I start thinking …my cousin married him. His money? No, he was average earner. His looks? What’s it worth to look muscular when his voice made him sound like Mickey Mouse? I quietly ask her sister if this guy is straight. She says yes. Alrighty then, guess this guy is just one of those mommas boys that his voice got stuck in neutral.
45 days later: I go over to visit. My cousin is in her room (their room) and her sister is in the living room. Very gloomy in there. If it were a cartoon, I swear a raincloud would be hanging over the place. I ask what’s going on. My other cousin in the living room tells me that this is not the best time to visit. (whoever is reading this, I know right now you’re nodding in acknowledgement that you know exactly what happens next).
So her sister whispers to me that my cousin found her husband locked in their room with his best friend. Mother of God! Madre de Dios! Or as we Puertoricans say “Ay Dios Mio”. Right then and there I wanted to jump up and say “Aha! I knew he was Gay!” But I didn’t. I just asked what was going to happen next. Turns out the guy ran out of the apartment with his best friend. And she was just gonna sit and wait for him because he left everything he owned there., so he had to return..if he dared. Everything he owned, except his ass! That was already owned, I guess!
Bad enough that she catches him cheating on her, but with a dude too?! And I am not homophobic, but don't marry my cousin if you are gay, okay?! The warning signs were there too. Someone from outside should have said..”you know what? You may get offended, but he looks sorta faggy”. But then sometimes women don’t listen. Anyways, I never broached the subject with my cousin about her 45 day old marriage. But about two years later, I used to go and play pool at a certain bar owned by friends. Regular bar, straight. Nice pool tables, ice cold Heinekens. In comes the guy my cousin was married to. He doesn’t recognize me or something, cause he just ordered two beers and started playing pool. And to make it worse.. he is playing with his “best friend”! He does see me and says hi. And I swear that now he has the most queenie voice ever, and his gestures now are completely fey! I may have even dropped the Heineken. Yikes.
I have a female cousin who is a better than average looking woman. Blonde, green eyes, though a shortie. Doesn’t look like her father at all. Must have been some all-American businessman on some business trip. (Glad they don’t read this.)
Anyways, she married some guy she had met only a month before. Whenever I hear something like that, I arch my eyebrow like the Rock. One month? I’m visiting one day and am introduced to him and his best friend. I size him up in that way all brothers and cousins usually size up men that are with our family. Close to six feet tall, moreno (means dark-skinned), and strong. He had a set of pipes. I shake his hand. All of a sudden, he spoke. He sounded like friggin Michael Jackson! I don’t know if I showed on my face what I thought of exactly at that moment. Well, after he talked to me about Tito, and Neverland, I ….kidding!
He DID sound…fey…soft…gay. Okay, I start thinking …my cousin married him. His money? No, he was average earner. His looks? What’s it worth to look muscular when his voice made him sound like Mickey Mouse? I quietly ask her sister if this guy is straight. She says yes. Alrighty then, guess this guy is just one of those mommas boys that his voice got stuck in neutral.
45 days later: I go over to visit. My cousin is in her room (their room) and her sister is in the living room. Very gloomy in there. If it were a cartoon, I swear a raincloud would be hanging over the place. I ask what’s going on. My other cousin in the living room tells me that this is not the best time to visit. (whoever is reading this, I know right now you’re nodding in acknowledgement that you know exactly what happens next).
So her sister whispers to me that my cousin found her husband locked in their room with his best friend. Mother of God! Madre de Dios! Or as we Puertoricans say “Ay Dios Mio”. Right then and there I wanted to jump up and say “Aha! I knew he was Gay!” But I didn’t. I just asked what was going to happen next. Turns out the guy ran out of the apartment with his best friend. And she was just gonna sit and wait for him because he left everything he owned there., so he had to return..if he dared. Everything he owned, except his ass! That was already owned, I guess!
Bad enough that she catches him cheating on her, but with a dude too?! And I am not homophobic, but don't marry my cousin if you are gay, okay?! The warning signs were there too. Someone from outside should have said..”you know what? You may get offended, but he looks sorta faggy”. But then sometimes women don’t listen. Anyways, I never broached the subject with my cousin about her 45 day old marriage. But about two years later, I used to go and play pool at a certain bar owned by friends. Regular bar, straight. Nice pool tables, ice cold Heinekens. In comes the guy my cousin was married to. He doesn’t recognize me or something, cause he just ordered two beers and started playing pool. And to make it worse.. he is playing with his “best friend”! He does see me and says hi. And I swear that now he has the most queenie voice ever, and his gestures now are completely fey! I may have even dropped the Heineken. Yikes.
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