4/5/11

Funny and Weird Drink Names

Besides the Flaming Dr. Pepper and the Chocolate Covered Grasshopper, what is there?!
Roll Me Over and Do Me Again
Purple MotherFucker
Jamaican Me Crazy ( I LOVE this pun!)
Sex With an Alligator
Gets Ya Laid Coffee
Godmother’s Lesbian Lover (Ha Ha Ha)
The Lost Tourist (sounds like I won’t drink that one on my trip to Mexico!)
Smurf Piss (these are ALL real)
Duck Fart (who comes up with these?)
Bend Me Over (someone was drunk when they came up with this one)
Alien Secretion
Hop, Skip, and Go Naked
Don’t Spread Your legs in the Jungle (yeah, insects n stuff)
Santa’s pole (this one makes me chuckle)
Tie me to The Bedpost, baby
The Spitting Hamster
Fuck Me Rough
Vulcan Death Probe (drunk by nerds everywhere)
Suicide (never drink this one on a bridge)
And the one that tickles my funny bone the most…
LegsSpreader
There are plenty more out there, but these are my personal faves. You can look them up, they’re not invented by me.
Any additions?

Anti Abortionists



I will change the pace of my blog for one day.  I need to get this off my chest.. No witty remarks or anything this time.
Here in Milwaukee just like anywhere else in this nation, we are free to protest against anything from the government to Wal-Mart to police brutality. The problem with this is that some people in every group believe so much in their cause that nothing will get in the way of their goal of winning over the other side, at whatever cost.
Anti-abortionists are one of these groups that form organized protests. Many times they will seek the corner where “Planned Parenthood” is located, and plant themselves there. Sometimes even near malls. Most times it is on a Saturday. I assume it’s because this way you get more “viewers”. They will be outside on the corners with signs and placards. The signs that are written, protesting abortion are inoffensive to me. The signs and placards showing a picture of what they say is a butchered baby or a terminated life (however they want to name it), those offend me. I will tell you why.
Those signs are meant for adults to react in disgust of what is being done when terminating a pregnancy. (Notice I’m not TRYING to make anyone that does not share my viewpoint to become angry) But I used to walk my stepdaughter when she was about five or six around the area near home because we needed to buy something. Now…why would I want my stepdaughter that young, or anyone elses kid to have to see something so gory on the street. Would be funny if some of the protesters do not allow their own kids to watch a horror movie because of the effect the film could have on them. Nausea, nightmares, etcetera. What do you do in that case? Have to walk a longer route? Tell your child to close her/his eyes until you give permission to open them? As if you’re having them close their eyes during a “bad” part of a movie?! This was a long time ago, so I haven’t asked my ex-wifes’ daughter if she was affected by me attempting to protect her from seeing the things on the signs.
I will not even get into the reason they decide to protest “Planned Parenthood”. That’s not the point today. What gets to me is this:
I have a good friend that works at a doctors’ office that is located near a “Planned Parenthood” that is going about it’s business as anonymously as possible to avoid the protesters on a crowded avenue. Near two elementary schools. Somehow the protesters confused the office with the other place. Once again…the anti-abortionists confused a regular doctors’ office with an abortion clinic. So up these people go with their signs, their chanting, their placards, and their anger. Why do I say anger? Because finally my good friend decided she needed to let the crowd know that this was not what they thought it was. At this point she and the doctor are on the nervous side. And of course, there has to be a stop to protesters mistakenly making it seem to whoever passed by that that was a place where abortions took place. So out she comes (she is Mexican-American) and tells them they are in the wrong place. What do these people do? They begin yelling racial epithets at her! Every nasty thing you can think of (and pathetic) is yelled at her…not because she “worked at an abortion clinic”…but the yelling at her is mostly of a racial nature. Telling her that she needed to return to Mexico. And that’s just a small part of the racist insults hurled at her.
Couldn’t these protesters make their point without having to assess the nationality of the person that opened the office door? Isn’t their point lost in what they argued now? I guess you revert to that so easily? What? Do these protesters actually believe that there are no Mexicans that share their opinion? Were they so sure there were NO Latino people AT ALL present in their group that they could comfortably hurl racial insults?
The end came when the police appeared. The protesters had already fled. I would pray to God that they do not mistakenly protest any other places. And that they take a long look in the mirror. Because their racial anymosity overshadows whatever message they are trying to bring to the table. And they should be reminded that some Latinos also share their views. Maybe the latinos that do should form their own group, go to an office run by a white doctor, and start yelling at him about his race.