Jury duty sucks donkey

Jury duty sucks. Oh, I said that already?

This is how my first day of jury duty went.

8:00- Drive myself down to the courthouse. Jury duty pays about $11 half a day, $19 a full day. I am sure parking downtown will cost me half of that. Ugh. Hopefully, I'll find a ten dollar bill on the way to the juror assembly room.

8:30- An auditorium filled with a hundred other poor souls that have to do their civic duty of putting someone in jail only because we're just tired and want to get out of there. (Uh, I didn't mean that, Mister Judge!)

9:30- An hour has passed and all we have gotten through is an introduction, and reading our guidelines. There some coins for free soda. I don't want any. Free coffee. Of course when I go get some, I get five drips in one cup. I look around to see who is watching, in case I just f'd up on serving it. But nada. This sucks. Try keeping me awake during my "civic duty", u bozos!

10:30- I'm going nuts now. I should have brought a book or a couple magazines with me. I don't want their outdated Sports Illustrated mags. Oh, goody. A movie shows up on two small tv screens. And what do you know? The angle is bad, so I can't see. Not that I want to. The movie is "Must Love Dogs". Which for me means..."Will Fall Asleep".

11:30- Many groups have been selected. I'm still sitting there in a squeaky, uncomfortable chair. Hey! It's almost lunch time. I keep remembering during the introduction that they mentioned this was going to be " a rewarding experience".

Noon- As I walk several blocks to feed the monster in my belly... I keep reminding myself that this is a "a rewarding experience". And that lunch will cost several dollars more.

1:00- Lunch break is over. Back to the uncomfortable chair. Yayyyy! I wonder what movie we will get now. Better be good. Of course, none of the movies would have Richard Gere, Tom Cruise, or anyone else playing a lawyer. I always joked that on any plane I traveled, I wanted to watch "Final Destination", "Die Hard 2", or even "Alive.

1:30- Groups keep getting called. Okayyy...what is the movie? Huh. Syndicated television. "The Steve Harvey Show". (sigh). Now "The Drew Carey Show". That one is a bit better. But it all serves to remind me as they call more people to serve, that I don't even watch this stuff at home. Keep repeating to myself "a rewarding experience". Another hour sitting here, and I will get up and punch the guy who said that right in his polished teeth!

2:30- Finally. Group of thirty walk to the room we're supposed to go to. Judge has us wait, and wait, and wait. This group is pretty quiet. Almost everyone is reading something. I'm trying to read "The Onion" that I picked up during lunch. But there are two women there that make me lose concentration. One looked like Brittany Snow, the other like Peta Wilson. Sigh.

3:30- Judge tells us the case is over. Someone pled guilty at the last minute. We're all like overanxious dogs now, asking "Can we go home now"? Not that dogs talk, but you knowwwwww...

4:00- Freedom!!!!!! But we all have to come back tomorrow. Oh. I cannot wait!